Quiet Kisses Are So Hardcore
by Lucyrne
Summary: As Bakugou tries to ghost Uraraka for her own good, he ruminates on how he fell in love with her in the first place. Feat. pining Bakugou, zero gravity kissing, lots of swearing, and Kacchako goodness.


It is supposed to be like ripping off a band-aid.

Tell her to get lost. Unfriend and block her on social media. Don't answer any texts, and block her number too. Uraraka is smart. She'll get the message. And when the sting of rejection subsides, she'll move on to someone else. Someone more suitable, someone more deserving. In the end, Uraraka will still be happy.

Bakugou is doing her a favor. If Uraraka never speaks to him again, that's what he deserves for being dumb enough to catch feelings in the first place.

On the way out of class, Kirishima puts a hand on his shoulder. "So, gym? Or video games? Or gym and video games?"

Bakugou calculates. Uraraka tends to go to the gym around this time, and this whole avoidance thing won't work if they keep running into each other. But then he catches her in the corner of his eye heading to the dorms herself-his eyes had a nasty habit of following her of their own accord-and realizes that the gym is the better option after all. He wonders how long he'll have to tiptoe through his own life before it gets easier.

"Gym first," Bakugou says. "Maybe video games after."

"Are you ok, man?" Kirishima asks. "You're kind of broody today. Like, Todoroki-level broody."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Heh, there's a Bakugou I know."

Once they get there, Bakugou makes a beeline for the bikes. Spinning is great cardio, but it's also one of the few activities that lets Bakugou's mind wander. As his legs start pedaling, he zones out to think about how this whole Uraraka situation went to shit so fast.

* * *

When it starts, it's so insignificant that Bakugou doesn't even realize what's going on in his own heart.

His match against Uraraka at the Sports Festival is both a surprise and a disappointment. When he leaves the arena, Bakugou judges that despite her loss, Uraraka has enough budding potential to stay on his radar. After Deku's sudden, meteoric rise at U.A., he just can't afford to underestimate anyone in his class.

Things get foggy after that. At first he gives Uraraka an equal amount of notice as he gives everyone else. Keeping tabs on his classmates' progress is just good strategy, nothing more. But at some point Bakugou can't name, he begins to watch her more closely, more frequently. He notes her improvement in hand-to-hand combat, watches the weight limit of her quirk steadily grow.

Bakugou imagines that if they ever had a rematch, she would last longer, hit harder. He starts to daydream about it, mentally planning how he would attack and turn the tables against this new, improved Uraraka. Actually, he thinks about it a lot.

His attention slowly bleeds off the battlefield and into the classroom, where she smiles more often. Where she touches her fingertips together when excited or happy. It's irritating to see those gestures aimed at Deku on a daily basis, and sometimes Bakugou stalks out of class beneath a cloud of bitterness. He doesn't stop to ask why the sight bothers him so much.

The recurring daydream about fighting Uraraka gives way to new dreams, ones where they run into each other outside of class, or they actually exchange a few friendly words. He wonders what the little pink pads on her fingers feel like, and what it would take to get her permission to touch them. When he's struggling to fall asleep, Bakugou finds that he can cycle through a hundred of these innocent dreams without growing bored. But even then, he never reads into it too deeply.

And so his crush grows like a bug bite. The more he pays attention to it, the more he absently scratchs it raw, the redder and angrier it becomes. Is it really any surprise that he ends up with a giant, bloody welt?

* * *

Bakugou leaves the gym feeling shaky, a sure sign that he didn't have enough calories before cycling the shit out of his quads. Now that he thinks about it, he completely forgot to eat around lunch time despite sitting down with a full tray. Ending this thing with Uraraka was supposed to help them both stay focused on what really matters, but he's so mind fucked that he can't even be bothered to eat the food sitting right in front of his face.

The cafeteria is still open, so he and Kirishima part ways so he could grab a bite before he gets too hangry. Walking across the U.A. campus, hands thrust in his sweat pant pockets, Bakugou keeps an eye out for a familiar brown bob or trickling laugh. When he makes it to the cafeteria without spotting her, part of him is disappointed.

In the hall of the cafeteria, Iida is walking to the left, probably heading to the dorms. There's plenty of space for the two of them to walk on by without noticing or acknowledging each other. Which is why when the other boy takes a fraction of a step in Bakugou's direction, allowing Iida's shoulder to shove into his, Bakugou knows it's abso-fucking-lutely intentional.

"Bakugou," Iida says coldly as he passes by.

The venom in Iida's voice makes Bakugou around. "What? You gotta problem with me, Four Eyes?"

The look Iida gives him is measured and disdainful. "I don't understand you. Why you push others away. Are you incapable of caring for someone other than yourself?"

Iida knows. Uraraka told him. The thought is almost shocking enough to keep Bakugou silent. Almost.

"You don't know a single fucking thing about me," Bakugou says. Unspoken is, 'And you don't know shit about us.'

Bakugou is raring to smack those glasses off his goddamn face, but Iida just turns and continues walking. Like he has better things to do than fight. The humiliation of not being worth Iida's fucking time would normally send Bakuogu's fists flying. But Iida is probably expecting that, and he doesn't want to give that four-eyed fucker the satisfaction of knowing he was right.

Expectations are a weird thing. Bakugou can build them up as much as he wants, but it doesn't mean jack shit in the end.

For example, Bakugou expected Uraraka to be upset with him, maybe even angry. He didn't expect her to talk about it with other people, and now he's getting the stink eye from the most uptight guy in class. If Iida hates his guts over this, Deku probably does too. With gritted teeth, he realizes that the little shit is probably plotting to ambush him so they could have some sappy heart to heart. Knowing himself and Deku, he figures such a talk will turn into a fist fight.

The idea that someone might talk about their feelings, out loud, to another actual person, on purpose, feels alien. Even when Bakugou began to acknowledge that his crush on Uraraka existed, even when he started to nurture it knowing full well those feelings would end in disaster, it never occurred to him to talk about it to anyone.

Maybe if he did, his crush wouldn't have gotten so out of control.

* * *

Pining is for whiny pissbabies who believe relationships could be built on delusion.

What Bakugou does isn't pining because he is aware that nothing is gonna happen between him and Uraraka. In a way, it makes him feel safer. He can covet her smiles, daydream about her laughter, and never worry about either of them becoming real. And when he is reminded of all the reasons his stupid fantasies will never come true, he finds comfort in the knowledge that it was an exercise in futility anyway.

An annoying part of Bakugou knows it isn't like him to seek distance, to seek safety. Running away is a coward's move. But the alternative would be to quit cold turkey, and Bakugou is too selfish to rob himself of something that, in a roundabout way, makes him happy.

His newfound self-awareness is stressful. Before, he could watch and think about her without considering the consequences. Now every interaction with Uraraka needs to be thought through. If she waves hello on campus and he returns the favor, will that give away that he has a crush? If he doesn't, will she be upset? Does it even fucking matter? Totally normal, everyday shit becomes a dilemma whenever she enters the room.

Uraraka hanging around Deku grates on him for new reasons. It's not jealousy, not like that. He just hates seeing Uraraka wasting time trying to be like Deku, who is usually too fixated on his own bullshit to even notice her. Bakugou had done nothing but notice Uraraka ever since their fight. It's twisted that after all this time, he is still the only one who sees potential in her. Not even Uraraka herself gets it.

Sometimes he suspects she actually does notice the way he pauses before speaking to her, the way he averts his eyes whenever they get too close. But pissed off indifference is a mask he wears well, and Bakugou feels more secure knowing that it fools Uraraka just as much as everyone else.

Bakugou has always cared about how others perceive him. He can't stand the idea that someone looks down on him, for any reason. If he ever found out that Uraraka looked down on him as a lesser hero, as lesser than Deku, Bakugou doesn't know how he would recover.

No, if the choice was between hidden cowardice and absolute rejection, Bakugou would choose cowardice every time.

So he keeps pretending that he doesn't really care, pretending that the act of pretending doesn't mean anything either. It's a sick loop of watching, admiring, retreating, and watching again, but at least it's stable. Predictable. Safe.

At least, for a while.

* * *

Students wandering on campus pick up on Bakugou's foul mood and steer clear of him, making his walk home blissful and lonely.

Back at the dorm, he isn't so lucky. Bakugou immediately notices Mineta wheezing heavily somewhere behind him and to the left. Mineta always breathes loudly, but it never bothers Bakugou because the twerp knows to stay out of his general earshot. It becomes irritating now that Mineta has chosen to follow Bakugou around, hovering around his ankles like a yappy dog.

Mineta doesn't try to speak to Bakugou until they are alone in the elevator. Once they punch the numbers for their floor, the little pissant can't hold back any longer.

"What base did you get to?" Mineta asks in a single breath.

Bakugou blinks. Not because he doesn't understand what Mineta is asking him, but because he doesn't understand why the fuck Mineta dared speak to him at all.

"Come on, rumors aren't built on nothing," Mineta says with a grin. "I just-I just want the details. Let a guy live vicariously through his betters! What's wrong with that?"

Bakugou shoots a look so ferocious that Mineta immediately squeaks. "My fist is going to live vicariously through your throat if you don't get out of my fucking face!"

The elevator doors open, and Mineta flees. Whatever rumors are swirling about him, Bakugou is at least still terrifying enough to send his classmates scrambling. But though Mineta himself is gone, the comments he made linger.

What exactly do these rumors say? Fucking lies, that's for sure. Bakugou never touched Uraraka during their flirtation at all, anywhere. Well, except her hand, but he asked first, dammit. Bakugou's a lot of things-a lot of bad things-but he isn't an animal. He wasn't raised in a fucking barn. It alarms him that Mineta thinks he was. Where the hell did he get that idea?

Unlocking his dorm door, Bakugou feels the sudden heat of anger rise from the pit of his stomach and enflame his cheeks and ears. Mineta, Iida, and the others got the whole damn thing wrong. Everything was going fine until she made the first move! He never intended to cross that boundary until she invited him to!

Yeah, it's his fault for torching everything and leaving Uraraka with the ashes. But that doesn't change how it actually began, and who really lit the first spark.

* * *

Bakugou's inconvenient fascination with Uraraka isn't a problem until Uraraka herself becomes inconveniently fascinated with him.

One day when Bakugou's eyes reflexively flick towards Uraraka's seat in class, he finds her looking right back at him. Their eyes dance away the moment they meet. It's over so fast, Bakugou is sure it was a random accident. After they catch each other staring a dozen times more, Bakugou begins to think there is something wrong with his face.

She approaches him in the gym to ask how to use some of the machines. Bakugou sourly remarks that he's not her fucking teacher, but helps her anyway. Their work out schedules sync all of a sudden, and Uraraka has a new question every single time they see each other. This goes on for several weeks, and he does nothing to stop it.

They wind up exchanging numbers, for class-related reasons. Bakugou welcomes the opportunity to talk to her more while still maintaining some pretense of not giving a fuck.

And slowly, ever so slowly, the goal posts shift. Conversations that were once unthinkable become commonplace. Uraraka starts shooting him smiles when she knows he's looking. He discovers that she is more than willing to let people check out her quirk, if they ask nicely. The palms of his hands burn the entire evening, remembering the softness of her pastel pink fingertips.

Bakugou wonders why she started talking to him all of a sudden. Could all these dumb feelings smouldering inside him actually be reciprocated? It's a scary, exhilarating thought. In all of his imaginings of the future, of becoming a hero so great that he surpasses All Might, love is always for other people. Not for him. Maybe it doesn't have to be that way.

Bakugou briefly ponders why All Might never married anyone, but cuts off that line of thought before it gets too far. He doesn't like where it leads.

Things change overnight when Ochako suggests they get lunch off campus, "just the two of them." Bakugou accepts as if it's no big deal. As if the mere suggestion doesn't send his heart into a gallop.

On his way home from class, other students whisper in his wake as Bakugou fails to hide a delirious grin. His heart is full of the buoyant adrenaline of falling, and he never wants to hit the ground. Denial sucks. Pining sucks. What the fuck he was thinking, keeping her at arm's length this whole time? Why deprive himself of something-someone-that makes him happy?

Bakugou has suffered. He's been brought low time and time again, forced to reevaluate his own dreams while others just got to be kids. It was time for something good to happen to him. After all the shit Bakugou's put up with, all the things he's been though, is there anyone more deserving of love than he is?

And then he's confronted with a truth he's known all along.

Bakugou's hopes crash down to earth, and his heart hardens on impact.

He does not make his date with Uraraka. He does not tell her that he won't show up. His absence should speak for him. While she is doubtlessly waiting for him with her own sinking heart, he goes through the process of erasing her number and blocking her online.

Bakugou tells himself it'll be like ripping off a band aid. A quick sting, a quick end. She'll get over it. Even if he won't.

* * *

Both full and exhausted, Bakugou flops onto his bed. The first day of avoiding Uraraka and putting an end to this madness is over. He just has to repeat it a few more times until it's finished for good.

The blinds are drawn, blocking out all sunlight and swathing his room in shadow. He stares at the ceiling, grateful to finally find some peace and quiet after such a shitty day.

There's a knock on his door. No, not his door-on his window. Bakugou sits up, and hears it again. He hesitates before walking to his window and peeking between two slates of his blinds.

Ochako's fiery brown eyes bore into him on the other side.

Bakugou cries out in alarm and staggers backwards into the wall. He hears more tapping at his window. Half-convinced that he's hallucinating, Bakugou rips open the blinds.

Ochako is a silhouette against a deep orange sky, floating in midair on the other side of the glass, wearing a fierce expression not unlike the one she wore during their fight. She's clutching the window pane to hold herself in place. Her hair fans out like a halo, and despite himself Bakugou admires how pretty determination and courage looks on her.

"I think you have to explain to me," Uraraka says, her voice muffled by the thick glass, "Why you've become such a jerk."

He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it before anything damaging comes out. Because how is he supposed to explain himself without coming across as a lovelorn sap?

Love is all or nothing. If Bakugou can't give Uraraka all, logically that leaves nothing, right? That's why pro heroes like All Might and Aizawa never married, and why the ones who do like Endeavor end up shitty partners and parents. The greatest heroes in the world tried to strike a compromise between ambition and romance, and they utterly failed.

Bakugou had never had to compromise his ambitions for anything his entirely life. He isn't sure he knows how. But Uraraka deserves someone who could give her everything. He isn't confident that person could be him.

"Because I am a fucking jerk," Bakugou says. "I've been thinking only of myself this time, not about you. I thought I was doing the right thing!"

Her eyes burn into him. "You're still thinking of yourself. Open the window."

Bakugou's hands are lifting the window up before his mind can tell them not to. Uraraka stops blocking the setting sun, and Bakugou steps backward to shield his eyes.

Warm yellow sunlight filters into his room, casting back the shadows. Uraraka maneuvers inside, almost as if she's swimming. She looks like an angel, come to wreak vengeance on the unlucky soul that wronged her. Bakugou stares, awestruck but ready to take whatever fury she's got.

"You once said you would never hold back, even against me," Uraraka says. "Are you really going to start now?"

Now that she's framed it like that, Bakugou can't back down. "Fuck no."

Uraraka grasps his wrist, and Bakugou's feet immediately lose contact with the floor. He feels buoyant, elated, like he's in a constant state of falling. He's floating backward, parallel to the floor, while Uraraka slowly hovers above him. Red eyes meet brown for what feels like an eternity.

Their noses collide briefly before their lips catch. The contact is soft and unsure at first, but Uraraka quickly surprises him with the strength of her kiss, which he repays in kind. His hand cups the back of her head, as if he's afraid she's going to disappear or float out of his embrace.

A dozen explosions ripple inside his chest, between his ears, across his cheeks, just like they do when he fights. The sensation set him at ease, confirms that this is right. That nagging part of Bakugou, the part that held him back all this time and filled him with doubt, is completely silence. Instead of thinking and worrying like a dumb ass, he should've trusted his instincts and acted.

The kiss only ends when Bakugou's head bumps against the back of his door. "Shit!"

"Oh no!" Uraraka touches her fingertips together, and a moment later both of them hit the floor with a thud. Their limbs tangled together, they are briefly stunned. "Sorry! I should've thought that one through…"

The pain blooming on the back of his skull is pretty minor, all things considered. He's a little sorry when Uraraka scrambles off of him. When he sits up, Bakugou sees through the still-open window that the sun has almost set completely. What a long-ass day.

Uraraka sits on his bed, looking flustered yet proud. "Maybe we shouldn't do that in zero gravity next time," she says sheepishly.

The mention of 'next time' makes him color. It was time to cut this bashful shit out for good. "Fuck, I hope we kiss like that every time."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought with a review!**


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